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How Healthy is Your Relationship?


If you want to build and maintain a good relationship, it does take work. The first step in learning where your relationship needs some attention is taking an inventory.  An inventory is an excellent tool you and partner can use to learn where your relationship may need some attention.  Here are some keys to building a healthy relationship:

Get to know the person: maybe he/she is a close friend or a friend of a friend; in any case make sure that you are comfortable with this person.
Spend time with this person in a group of friends: This could help you feel more at ease with this person and understand more how this person treats others. Is he/she controlling or disapproving? Or maybe he/she is caring and positive?
Plan activities that you both can enjoy: Don’t make every night out catering to the other. By doing this, he/she will never get to know the real you. Compromise is optimal and maybe you can talk about which of your favorite places you would like to take the other.
Be clear and upfront with the other person: Tell him/her what you feel comfortable doing and what time you would like to be back by.
Tell at least one friend where you are going: Maybe a roommate or a neighbor, someone you trust, who you will be with, and how to reach you, just in case something happens.

Many students enter into a romantic relationship during college. The beginning of the relationship is often exhilarating and easy. As time goes on, a healthy relationship requires good communication and cooperation between partners. The quality of our relationships affects our lives in many ways, including our self-esteem, our ability to handle stress, and our academic and work-related productivity. The following questionnaire can help you identify the health of the relationship that you have with your significant other. Answer each question with a simple "yes" or "no."

    • My partner and I have clear communication.
    • We have trust in one another.
    • There is mutual respect between us.
    • We have common interests.
    • We are able to perceive things differently without expecting each other to see things the other's way.
    • I feel values intellectually, emotionally, and if intimate, physically.
    • I am able to grow independently, and I support my partner's growth, thus our relationship is also growing.
    • We have activities and friends outside of the relationship.
    • We accept each other and do not try to change one another.
    • Our relationship adds joy to my life.

If you answered “no” to any of the above questions you may want to explore the health of your relationship.

Speaking with a counselor can be very helpful in clarifying any doubts or concerns that you have.

For additional information on relationships contact the UTEP Healthy Miners at . or  if you would like to seek Counseling services, contact the University Counseling Center at 202 Union West or call 915-747-5302.